Prank War
by Data Girl 3
Summary: The Bohemians win a trip to a destination resort. While they’re there, a minor prank quickly erupts into an all out war.
1. Getaway Plan

**AN: **I can't seem to take breaks between Rent fics. A couple of heads-up: This chapter will contain a (hopefully) surprising bit of information about Emily's past. There is also brief talk of sexual stuff this opening chapter, so be warned. On that note, enjoy...

* * *

Emily brushed the light coating of snow from her padded blue winter jacket as she stepped out of the street and into the apartment buildings, a sign of the typical late December weather. When she closed the door, she had to pause in surprise. By now, she'd gotten used to the fact that this old building was usually just as cold inside as it was outside. But today, it was surprisingly warm, and there wasn't even a hint of a misty cloud escaping her mouth when she breathed.

"Well," Emily grinned, heading upstairs to visit the Loft. "Thanks for the belated Christmas present, Benny."

* * *

On her way up to visit her friends, she made a quick stop at her small apartment to check up on her pet potbellied pig, Wenceslas. He temporarily had to be left alone in the apartment when Emily was at work. Penny was off at Winter Camp, and wouldn't be back until after New Years. Mark and Roger had volunteered to keep an eye on the small black pig for Emily during her shifts, but the photographer still liked making doubly sure he was thriving in the winter months. After seeing that all was right, she proceeded up to the Loft, where she found Mimi, Joanne and Maureen sitting around the couch, deep in conversation.

"Hi, Emily!" They all greeted.

"Hi," Emily waved back.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Joanne asked. "We stopped by your apartment, but you weren't there."

"Drugstore," Emily explained, holding up the small bag in her hand. "I had to pick up more insulin. Oh, Mimi. I picked up yours and Roger's AZT for you while I was down there."

"Thank you, Emily," Mimi replied. "Hey, come and join us. We're playing Revealing.

"I never heard of that game. What do you do?"

"It's simple," Maureen explained. "We as you a question and you answer it as honestly as possible. It's meant to get to know people better."

"What kind of questions?" Emily sat down, interested.

"Well, here's one," Mimi offered. "If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?"

"My hair," Emily stated without thinking.

"Why?" Maureen gaped. "That's your most distinguishing feature!"

"Oh, come on," Emily shook her head. "Look around, Maureen. You, Joanne and Mimi. No matter what you guys do with your hair, it always looks great. Mine always sticks out. A ponytail. That's all I can do with this hair.

"Okay then," Joanne laughed. "Let's move on to the next question.

"OH! I got one!" Maureen cried. "Emily, tell us about your first time."

"First time what?" Emily asked.

"Your first time with a man, of course." Emily's hazel eyes doubled in size.

"Um…. Pass."

"Nuh uh!" Maureen persisted. "There's no passing. Come on, Emmy. We're all interested. Tell us about your first time!"

"No. Please, Maureen. Just give me another question."

"Not until you fess up. When did you first do it? You know, the horizontal horror! The monkey dance! The…" Maureen finally noticed the furious blush appearing on Emily's face. Suddenly, she understood. "Oh. Oh my! Emily! Do you mean you're… you're a virgin?!" Emily cleared her throat nervously and started looking at her fingernails, as if they suddenly held new interest to her. "OH MY! YOU ARE!"

"What are you shouting about, Maureen?" Mark asked as he suddenly entered the Loft.

"Emily!" Maureen cried, pointing at the embarrassed photographer. "She's a pure, green, untouched, 110-percent VIRGIN!"

"Maureen," Emily moaned. "You don't have to act like it's the most unheard of thing ever."

"I'm sorry! It's just I wasn't expecting that. You're twenty-four now, and you've never had a boyfriend!"

"Hold it right there, Maureen," Emily frowned. "I never said I never had a boyfriend."

"But you said…"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Emily threw her head back in exasperation. "Where is it written you have to sleep with a boyfriend? For your information, my parents waited until their wedding night. I think I should be allowed to want the same thing without people acting like I'm abnormal."

"I'm sorry," Maureen apologized honestly.

"Oh, forget about it. Just promise that next time I ask you to drop something, you'll respect my wishes." The Bohemians were quiet for a short time.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend," Mark finally spoke up.

"Yeah. Well, I did," Emily confessed. "But that was a long time ago. When Penny was two years old."

"What happened to him?" Mark wanted to know. An unreadable expression flashed over Emily's face.

"I'd rather not discuss it, Mark." The filmmaker chose to respect Emily's request and let it drop, changing the subject instead.

"Mimi, I picked up the mail and you got something," Mark announced, handing the dancer an envelope. "Looks like junk mail, if you ask me." Mimi tore open the envelope and read the letter. Suddenly, she let out an exited squeal.

"I won!"

"What do you mean?" Joanne looked over in confusion.

"A few weeks ago," Mimi explained, "I found this abandoned magazine in the subway station. There was a contest entry form inside it. The first prize was an all-expenses paid trip to Lake Austin Spa Resort. AND I WON!"

"A spa resort?" Mark blinked. Instantly, Joanne and Maureen joined into Mimi's excitement.

"Spending the last days of December in Texas. That does sound fun," Joanne pointed out, looking over the brochures that came with the letter.

"I don't really do spas, guys," Emily stated. "It's not my thing."

"Aw, don't you wasn't to get pampered, Emily?" Maureen grinned.

"Precisely my problem with it. I'm not accustomed to that sort of treatment."

"Oh, but you have to come!" Mimi insisted. "Think of all the great shots you can get there. They also have cooking programs. You'd be right at home."

"And leave Wenceslas here? I don't think so."

"Actually, Emily," Joanne said, looking at the brochure, "they have a pet care policy, meaning you can bring him along."

"Well, be sure to have a good time," Mark offered.

"Hey, Mark, it's not a gender exclusive resort, you know," Mimi laughed. You, Collins and Roger will be coming, too."

"Oh, there's an image," Emily suddenly broke out laughing. "Roger getting a facial. I'd pay to see that. Okay, you convinced me. Mark, you have to come now. I don't think any of us would enjoy ourselves if you were left alone in New York. At least, I know I wouldn't." Mark looked over at Emily, who was giving him a pleading glance.

"Oh…. All right. I'll go. Maybe I'll get some good footage to go with your photographs." With Mark's relenting, the planning for the Bohemian Vacation began.

* * *

**AN: **Originally, I intended only the Rent Girls to go to the resort, but I decded it might be more fun with the whole gang. And for those of you who are wondering, I will reveal more about Emily's infamous ex-boyfriend in a later story. Until next time...


	2. Arrival

**AN:** I have a request. There used to be a fanfic on this site, called The Phrase that Pays, which was a Roger/Mimi story about what happened after Rent. But it seems to have disappeared. If anyone can tell me why, or where I can find it, could you please send me a PM? I really liked that story. Thanks in advance.

* * *

Two days later, the Bohemians pulled up in front of the resort spa in a metallic blue minivan.

"Thanks for letting us use this van of yours, Emily," Joanne smiled as they got out.

"Well, of course. Now that the Center's closed down, I was starting to wonder if I should just sell it, since I no longer had any use for it. Good thing I haven't gotten around to that, yet." As Collins started unloading the bags, Joanne went into the lobby to check in, followed by Roger, who was carrying Mimi as the Latina dancer had fallen asleep during the car ride, and he didn't have the heart to wake her. While this was going on, Maureen started whistling _'Deep in the Heart of Texas'_. However, she was interrupted by an alarmed cry.

"No whistling!" Nana scolded sternly, moving into view from the other side of the van. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Women should not whistle, for it encourages evil spirits to visit them. Now you have to tie a knot in a handkerchief!" Nana quickly walked over to where Collins was unloading their suitcases to fish a handkerchief out of her bag.

"Emily," Maureen glanced over at the photographer. "Why did Nana come with us again?"

"Because she pulled the whole '_I'm over eighty, and my heart could give out any day, this could be the last chance I have at a vacation_' line on me." Emily replied, eyeing the vastly superstitious woman in exasperation. "Just play along with her, Maureen. It's easier then trying to convince her that we're living in the twentieth century. Hey, Collins. You need help with those bags?"

"No, no. I got it, Emily. Thanks for the offer. You go and take Wenceslas for a walk. He probably needs to stretch his legs, too."

"Well, okay. Meet you guys later." Emily placed the little harness on the small black pig and started to lead him off. Seconds after she rounded the corner, she suddenly noticed Mark hurrying up to join her.

"Is it okay if I come along?" he asked. "Nana's on a roll now. Maureen made the mistake of asking Nana if she could sing instead of whistling."

"Oh, let me guess," Emily rolled her eyes. "Nana went off on her '_if you sing before seven, you will cry before eleven_' allegation."

"I have to know. How'd you manage to survive listening to all those crazy sayings for all those years?"

"The secret is just nod and smile a lot. And if all else fails, let your mind wander. I think about shutter speed." Chuckling, the two went off together.

* * *

Joanne stood by the window, enjoying the view. The Bohemians had reserved four rooms in the resort. She and Maureen were sharing a room, as were Roger and Mimi. Collins was rooming with Mark, leaving Emily and Nana together. At that moment, the door flew open and Maureen dashed in, closing the door quickly and blocking it shut.

"I finally shook her around the Blue Room," Maureen panted, clearly out of breath.

"What? Who?"

"Nana. She won't get off my back. Keeps rambling on about how everything from an itch to what position you sleep in means something. I only just managed to loose her." Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Maureen let out a panicked cry before diving behind the bed in an effort to hide. Joanne moved to answer the door to reveal Collins with their luggage.

"Maureen, it's safe to come out," Joanne called over to her partner. "It's only Collins."

"Collins, do you see Nana out there?" Maureen asked fearfully.

"No. Last I saw, she was talking to some of the staff about the different East Asian therapies offered here."

"Oh, good!" A relieved Maureen abandoned her hiding place and proceeded to the door. "Come on, Jo! Let's check out the Iris Salon!"

"Collins, are you coming to check out the resort?" Joanne invited.

"Later," Collins waved. "I need a nap. I've been driving Emily's truck for an hour and a half. I'm beat. Catch you two later."

* * *

Down by the lake Mark and Emily were filming and taking pictures of a small group of mockingbirds in a nearby tree.

""Wouldn't it be great if we actually got to see an armadillo while we were out here?" Emily wondered.

"Don't they hibernate in winter?"

"No. I did a report on them in elementary school. Did you know they can swim?" As Mark and Emily conversed, Wenceslas was rooting around. Suddenly, the little pig went rigid, as if sensing danger. Moments later, he began tugging on his harness, trying to get away.

"What's wrong with him?" Mark looked down at the little pig. At that moment, Emily scooped up Wenceslas in her arms, looking in shock in the near distance.

"A dog," she breathed. "Dogs are predators of pigs." Sure enough, a young woman was walking a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel along the lake.

"Oh!" Mark gaped before quickly pulling Emily out of sight. "Perfect. What's _she_ doing here?"

"Mark, you know that woman?"

"Yeah," Mark sighed. "That's…. that's Allison."

"As in Benny's _wife_, Allison?" Emily's eyes grew wide in shock.

"Exactly," Mark nodded. "And if she's here, that must mean…" A mutual understanding passed between them.

"Don't tell Roger," they agreed simultaneously.

* * *

**AN:** Yeah. Wait 'till Roger finds out Benny's at the same resort!  
It may be a while before I can update this again. I have two tests on Monday, pretty much back-to-back. So, I have to study my tail off all weekend (Fun!)  
P.S.: Yes, Nana is very superstitious. That's going to be a running gag from now on.


	3. Roger's Cold WakeUp Call

**AN: **I'll never understand why people seem to enjoy combining criticism with insults when reviewing my stories. If the person in question is reading this, I'm very sorry you don't like Emily. But please don't assume I'm, as you put it, "bad at everything I do in life". You should never make such statements about people you don't even know. It's verging on rude, and only makes people loose respect for you.

Moving on, here's the next installment. Sorry it's short. I have other things on my mind right now.

* * *

The next morning, Maureen, Joanne, Mark, Mimi, and Collins were gathered in the hall, waiting to go down to breakfast. Roger, Mimi stated, was sleeping in, and she had left him a note telling him that she'd bring something back up for him. At that moment, however, she realized that her AZT bottle was still in the bags in their room and Maureen volunteered to fetch it. As soon as Maureen disappeared into Roger and Mimi's hotel room, Emily came out of hers.

"Sorry for the wait, guys. I had to dig out Wenceslas' food out of my suitcase."

"Where's Nana?" Collins looked over Emily's shoulder. Emily rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Last I saw, she was watering the rosemary plants she placed by the door."

"Rosemary plants?"

"Yeah. To keep the witches out. I told her they don't get many witches in Texas, and that they usually stay up in Massachusetts. But she didn't listen to me, like always."

"Well, I guess we should start heading down for breakfast, then," Joanne announced.

"I hope they have something besides omelettes," Emily noted. "I hate egg."

"How can you hate eggs?" Mimi turned to her in shock. "Look at all the ways to prepare eggs. Scrambled, sunny-side up, hard boiled…."

"I just have a thing with eggs. When I was a kid, I was helping Zack in making Easter breakfast. But one of the eggs we were using had been fertilized, and the baby chicken had already started developing. Lets just say if _you _had to see this red lump inside a bowl filled with egg yolks, complete with blood vessels,...."

"Okay, you just ruined eggs for me, now," Mark made a face.

"Sorry, Mark," Emily laughed.

"OH! OH MY…" Maureen suddenly raced into the hall, looking panicked.

"What's with you?" Joanne sighed.

"I… I… I thought he was waking up! I didn't realize he was still sleeping!"

"What did you do?"

"I… I just wanted to… I seriously thought he was waking up, and I wanted to hurry him up! I had no idea he wasn't awake! So... I took and ice cube, and…." At that moment, the door to Roger and Mimi's hotel room, the room Maureen had just run out of, opened, and a droopy-eyed, tousled-haired, grumpy-looking Roger shuffled into the hall. For a brief moment, he just gave Maureen a flat glare, but then he stiffly shook his head and returned to his room.

"He's so gonna kill you when he fully wakes up, you know," Emily smirked.

* * *

Down at breakfast, the group went over the itinerary for the day.

"OH!" Mimi squealed in excitement. "African & Brazilian Dance! That sounds fun!"

"Pumpkin body wraps!" Maureen pointed out.

"I wonder. What's Tajii Moxa?" Collins blinked.

"Ask Nana," Emily sighed. "I'm sure she'd know. I can't decide if I should do the cooking class or the nature walks first."

"Emily, don't forget, this is a spa. You have to do at least some kind of treatment," Joanne spoke up.

"Well…. I guess I'll do the waterworks program. If someone will do it with me."

As the Bohemians continued to plan out their day, Roger finally showed up, giving Maureen a death glare as he sat down next to Mimi.

"What I miss?" He asked, gulping down some orange juice.

"We're just planning what to do today," Collins explained, handing him the Activity and Program listing.

"Hey, here's something for you, Mark," Roger laughed, skimming it. "The Eternal Summer Tan!"

"Oh, shut up," Mark scowled.

* * *

**AN: **That may be my last update for a while. But I have happy news for me: this weekend, my friend and I have tickets to see RENT on stage! We've been looking forward to this for months.

Coming up:  
Maureen gets a shocking surprise during a shower  
Collins and Nana find a common interest in a game of Texas Hold'em  
Emily gets a small confidence boost  
Mark gets an earful about the Chupacabra legends.


	4. Take These Things with a Grain of Salt

**AN:** Happy Thanksgiving to all. I love holidays like this, especially when my brother makes a stink about wearing his paper party crown. That's a 'tradition' I always look forward to.

* * *

"Collins, help!" The anarchist looked up from the deck of cards he was shuffling to see Maureen hurrying up, with Nana close behind.

"What is it now?"

"She wants to count the number of 'X's' on my right hand, insisting it will reveal the number of children I'll have!"

"Nana," Collins chuckled. "Seeing how she and Joanne are both women, I don't think that's something to be too concerned with."

"Well, you never can be sure," Nana clicked her tongue. "She and Joanne might one day decide to go to one of those sperm banks."

"Even if that was the case, they still would be no cases of unexpected births," Collins pointed out.

"You've never heard of twins?" Nana persisted. "There are even some cases of quindecaplets: fifteen born at once." Maureen instantly paled at the thought of giving birth to fifteen babies at once.

"Collins, please do something!" Maureen begged. "I'm supposed to meet Joanne, Mimi and Emily for the waterworks program in half an hour and I have to get my things from the room." Instantly, Collins formed a little plan to help his friend get rid of Nana for a while.

"Nana, pull up a seat," He invited. "We can play a game for a while, with a wager attached."

"What sort of wager?" Nana asked, as Maureen gratefully took advantage of Nana's distraction to hurry off and get her swimsuit on.

"If I win, you have to promise not to lecture Maureen about your omens and anything like that."

"Okay, but what if I win?"

"I'll get a cupping treatment with you."

"And an acupuncture session as well?"

"I would, but since it wouldn't be wise to risk my blood…."

"Apologies," Nana said quickly. "I sometimes forget about your condition. Very well, then, Thomas Collins, you have yourself a bargain." Nana sat down across from him as he dealt out a game of Texas Hold'em. There wasn't a good chance the elderly woman knew how to play poker games, after all.

"Remember, Nana," Collins explained during the game. "Straight beats thee of a kind; a flush beats a straight…." Nana listened patiently to Collins' instructions as the game continued. Finally, Collins, with a triumphant smile, laid his hand on the table. "Straight flush," he announced. Nana responded with a serene smile before showing him her cards.

"Royal flush." Collins' jaw dropped. "The cupping treatment is tomorrow afternoon. Don't be late."

"Wait!" Collins sputtered. "How'd you…"

"Collins, dear friend," Nana winked. "I was the three-time champion of my Texas Hold'em team in my prime."

"What?! Why didn't you say anything?"

"You never asked me, did you?" Nana chuckled as she left the room.

* * *

Later on, in the Pool Barn, Joanne, in a yellow racerback style swimsuit, and Maureen, in a tiger-striped-patented triangle bikini, moved up to the group waiting to begin the waterworks program. Mimi, in a Hawaiian print bikini, and Emily, in a navy blue hydrasuit with a small New York Yankees logo printed on one of the straps, were already among the group, waiting for them. As Maureen and Joanne walked up to their friends, they noticed a guy talking to Mimi while Emily was crouched down at the pool's edge, swirling the water with her finger.

"So do you want to meet me in the beverage bar later on?" the guy was asking.

"I'm flattered," Mimi replied politely. "But I have a boyfriend." The guy's face fell instantly, but he simply shrugged and walked off.

"You know, I think that's the same guy who asked me if I was interested in meeting him in the Bamboo Room yesterday," Joanne blinked.

"He must be hitting on every girl here!" Mimi realized, seeing the guy talking with another girl a short distance from the group.

"Every girl, except one, maybe," Emily muttered, still twirling the water with her finger. "Guess I should be used to it by now."

"What do you mean?" Joanne asked, crouching down next to her.

"Well, in all honesty, you people are the only ones who really notice me. Everyone else… let's just say I'm used to people overlooking me as just another girl. So, I shouldn't be surprised that even overly-hormonal boys overlook me."

"That's because you have to _make_ them notice you," Maureen reasoned.

"No offense, Maureen," Emily glanced over. "But unlike you, I'm not exactly comfortable in wearing flashy, revealing clothes."

"I don't think you need to go that far," Mimi laughed. "But you do realize that you're usually hiding your face beneath that Yankees cap of yours. I know it has sentimental value, since it belonged to your brother. But it does have a tendency to hide…"

"My plain homely features."

"That's not a good attitude," Joanne chided. "Hasn't anyone told you that you are rather pretty?"

"Just Nana and Zack. But I don't think they count."

"Emily just come with us to the Iris Salon tomorrow," Mimi invited. "Joanne's right. You are pretty. And it may be time you highlighted your natural appearance. Believe me, confidence has a definite impact on your physical features."

* * *

Shortly after lunch, Maureen entered one of the private showers in preparation for the Pumpkin Body Wrap she was getting. After this treatment, she was meeting Joanne for a drink and a walk. And after that, who knew?

Maureen turned on the water and closed her eyes, the way she always did, to fully enjoy the warmth of the water droplets. She loved showering, and always went off into her own world whenever she stepped into one. Before long, much too soon for her liking, the staff member in charge of the Pumpkin Body Wraps informed her that it was time to move on to the next step. As Maureen went to turn off the water, however, she suddenly noticed red-colored water flowing down her arm. She quickly started to panic when she saw her entire body was covered in red. It almost looked like blood. However, fear turned to shock when she noticed the blood-like water was actually coming from the shower head. Immediately, Maureen cried for the staff member. The staff member quickly turned off the water, before noticing the shower head was slightly unscrewed. Once the staff member removed it, she and Maureen discovered that someone put red dye inside the showerhead.

"Who put it there?" Maureen gaped.

"I don't know," the staff member apologized. "There hasn't really been anyone in here. Except…"

"What?"

"I _did _step out for just a moment. When I came back, there was a young man in here. He said he was looking for someone."

"What did he look like?"

"Oh, tall and...rather unshaven. With long dirty blond hair." Maureen's eyes narrowed maliciously.

"Roger," she snarled. "He is _so_ dead."

* * *

Mark knelt down by a small creek, filming the water flowing by. Wenceslas' harness was wrapped around his wrist. He'd volunteered to watch him for a bit while Emily was at her cooking program.

"You better keep a close watch on that there pig," an elderly man spoke from behind a tree so suddenly, that it slightly spooked Mark.

"He's my friend's pet. I wouldn't let him wander off," Mark stated.

"I was more worried about the chupacabra, young man"

"The what?" Mark lowered his camera, confused.

"The chupacabra. A vicious beast that preys on livestock, like that little pig you got there. Their red eyes have the ability to hypnotize and paralyze their prey, leaving the prey animal mentally stunned, allowing the chupacabra to suck the animal's blood at its leisure. The chupacabra drains all the blood of an animal, and sometimes, even their internal organs as well. For the sake of your friend's pig, I believe you best keep a close eye on him. Especially at night."

"Hi, Mark!" Emily suddenly came jogging up. When Mark looked back around, the old man was gone. "Thanks for looking after Wenceslas for me."

"Oh… Sure. No… problem."

"What are you looking for?"

"There was this old man there a second ago." Mark quickly explained what he had just heard.

"A chupacabra?" Emily sighed. "Did he mention anything about alligators in the sewers, as well?"

"You're not worried about Wenceslas, then?"

"Not really. I've heard of chupacabras. If there was something to the stories, then why do all the descriptions vary so much? Mark, take it from someone who lived with a superstitious woman for twenty years. You have to take these things with a grain of salt."

"Yeah," Mark nodded, eying the sun that was starting to set. "Maybe."

* * *

**AN: **I really hope the glitch this site is having again is going to clear up soon. It's taking longer then I thought it would. It can't be too much longer though. (I hope)

Coming up:  
Roger and Maureen continue their game of playing pranks  
Collins and Nana challenge an egotistical card shark to their game  
Roger finds out Benny's at the same resort  
And maybe some sweet moments here and there


	5. Emily's Makeover

"Guys, I really don't know about this," Emily tried to back out of the girls' plan for her for one last time.

"It's okay, Emily. You just put a little faith in us," Joanne assured as Maureen and Mimi led her by the arms into the Iris Salon. Once in the salon, Maureen had a quick discussion with the staff member about their plan for Emily.

"Well, then. Let's see," the staff member examined Emily's face. "Well, I do see a lot of potential. First things first, though. We'll start by taming those bushman eyebrows." For the next half hour, the staff member hovered over Emily, from styling her frizzy hair to treating her nails. Occasionally, Emily would try to strain her neck to see into the mirror.

"No, Emily!" Mimi prevented her from looking. "Not until it's done."

"But I want to see what you're letting her do to me!"

"Just be patient. You won't be disappointed."

"You three are _so_ lucky I trust you guys."

"There," The staff member announced finally. "She's finished." Emily looked tentatively at the mirror, and was stunned by what she saw.

* * *

"Well, what do you think?" Nana asked as she and Collins entered the Blue Room after their cupping treatment.

"I must admit, the back's never felt better," Collins smiled. At that moment, a commotion was heard in the corner, where a teen boy was currently bragging.

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm unbeatable," the boy stated, haughtily displaying a cad hand. "There isn't a game of cards I can't win." Hearing this, Nana and Collins shared an exasperated glance.

"Ay, when I see people like that, I'm almost happy I never had children of my own." Nana sighed.

"What do you say we see if we can't put him in his place?" Collins suggested. "If I didn't believe you knew how to play Texas Hold'em, there's no way that boy would."

"Oh, so you're seriously suggesting we challenge that big-headed teen to a round, just so we can lower him down a peg, even if it means we do it by false pretenses?" Nana frowned.

"Well, yes."

"You really are an anarchist. And I like the way you think." Collins chuckled and challenged the boy to a game of Texas Hold'em.

"You're challenging me, pal?" the boy asked, sizing Collins up.

"Actually, my associate is the one who's giving out the challenge."

"What? You mean Grams here?" The teen laughed in mirth. "You sure you don't have any Bingo buddies around, old timer?"

"Just deal the cards," Nana sat down, clearly not appreciating being called 'old timer'.

* * *

Mark sat in his room, winding his camera in preparation for filming. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Upon opening it, he saw Emily standing there. But she no longer looked like Emily.

"Emily?" Mark blinked. While her eyebrows were thinner and well-shaped, and there was a light coat of mascara and other beauty products on her, the most noticeable difference was her hair. It was no longer frizzy, but straight.

"What, no good?" Emily asked. "It was the girls' idea."

"Well... I… your hair! It's… not frizzy."

"Yeah, the lady at the salon put some hair tamer spray in it. Why? Is something wrong with it?"

"You… just look so different without the frizzy hair, that's all."

"Good different or bad different?"

"Just… different." Mark quickly checked himself to snap out of his surprise. "I'm sorry. Is there something you wanted?"

"Not really. I just thought you'd like to know there was a scenic creek hike leaving soon. Thought you'd like to come and film a bit."

"Oh. Sounds good," Mark agreed and followed Emily down the hall, occasionally glancing in shock at her new look."

* * *

Sometime later, Mark and Emily were returning from the hike, discussing the things they had captured on film. As they approached their rooms, Mimi poked her head into the hall.

"Oh, Mark, Emily. It's only you," Mimi sighed, her expression a combination of amusement and discouragement. "I thought it might be the people from the salon."

"Why? What do you want with them?" Mark blinked. Mimi bit her lip, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

"Well, you know how Roger and Maureen have been trying to get the other last?"

"Yes, we all know about that," Emily nodded. "What did they do this time?"

"Come in," Mimi waved them into the room where Roger was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head concealed by a towel. "Maureen," Mimi explained, "obviously switched his shampoo with a semi-permanent hair dye. We've tried, but it won't wash out."

"I'm going to kill her," Roger announced, his voice slightly muffled beneath the towel.

"Roger, come on," Mark reasoned. "How bad could it be?" After a brief hesitation, Roger, whose face was up in an irritated scowl, threw back the towel, revealing his hair, which was no longer the usual dirty blonde color.

"YIKES!!!" Emily's hands flew to her mouth, slightly stumbling backwards in shock at the sight of Roger's hair, which was now a vibrant electric blue.

"I'm going to kill her," Roger repeated.

"You'll do no such thing!" Mark demanded.

"Don't tell me who I can't kill, Cohen! Look what she did to my hair! I can't let people see me like this."

"Okay, calm down!" Emily stepped in. "Just head down to the salon downstairs. I'm sure the people down there can salvage your hair, Roger. Look what they did with mine. If they can make my hair look like this, they can handle your… little problem."

"And risk being seen looking like a circus clown!?"

"Hmm. Good point. You're just going to have to wear this 'till you get down there." Emily took off her Yankees cap, and offered it to Roger, who gave her a look that said _you must be kidding_. "Don't look at me like that. I know you're a die-hard Mets supporter, but it's either wear the hat or exhibit the hair." Roger, after weighing the two options, sighed and accepted the hat.

"Thanks," Roger got up off the bed and let Mimi escort him down to the salon.

"So," Mark began, once he and Emily were alone. "You never explained to me why you let them give you a make over."

"Oh, that," Emily nodded, tugging on a lock of her now unfrizzed hair. "I was just tired of being overlooked."

"What are you talking about? We don't overlook you."

"It's not you guys I'm talking about, it's everyone else."

"Huh?"

"Come on, Mark. Look at who I'm surrounded with. We got a diva like Maureen, and Mimi, who has curves most girls would kill for. Even Joanne can turn a few heads. I've never been the type of girl most guys go for. I'm the girl-next-door type. Guys go for what I haven't got. I don't expect you to understand." Before Mark could reply, Collins suddenly appeared at the door.

"Anyone know where Roger is?" he asked desperately.

"He went down with Mimi to the Iris Salon, why?"

"Because… I just saw Benny down in that general area. If Roger heads down…"

"Oh, Sh-t!" Mark quickly ran out of the room.

"Head him off, Mark! You can do it!" Emily called after him. After Mark was out of sight, Emily stepped across the hall to her room. "Excuse me, Collins, but I think I should take Wenceslas for a walk. I don't know about you, but if Roger runs into Benny, there's gonna be an outbreak of World War Three, and I don't want to be present for that."

"I know what you mean."

* * *

"Roger, Wait!" Mark caught up to his friends shortly before they got close to the salon. "I think the salon's the other way!"

"What are you talking about, Mark?" Roger blinked. "The salon's right there."

"Oh. Right. Well, they're… the salon's closed for lunch break."

"Lunch isn't for another hour," Mimi pointed out.

"Mark," Roger eyed his best friend. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to keep me from…" Roger trailed off, spotting something over Mark's shoulder, his face betraying his shock. Mark winced and turned around. Sure enough, there was Benny, coming out of the salon, talking with the staff member.

"Yes sir, we have an opening for your wife in about two hours. She can stop by then."

"Thank you, Miss," Benny nodded before leaving the salon. However, he froze at the sight of Roger, Mimi and Mark, who were all looking back at him, Roger and Mimi in surprise, and Mark with a grimace.

* * *

**AN: **And the two finally meet. The confrontation is coming soon. I hope it meets your satisfaction. Until next time...


	6. A Sympathetic Ear

**AN:** Happy AIDS Awareness Day to everyone! (Is happy the right word to use? I'm not sure.) I'm posting this chapter in commemoration.  
I'm glad people liked the Roger With Blue Hair thing. That was actually an inside joke. Apparently, when Adam was performing at a place called The Elbow Room with his band, he really did dye his hair blue. Weird, but true.

* * *

"What are you doing here?!" Roger growled, marching up to Benny. "Can't I enjoy a vacation without having to deal with you?"

"For starters, Roger," Benny began. "I didn't even _know _you would be here. Besides, I'm perfectly at liberty to come with my wife and in-laws on a vacation. It's not just you who has that right. By the way. What did you do to your hair?"

"Oh, shut up!" Roger pulled Emily's Yankees cap farther down on his head, trying in vain to hide the blue color.

"Roger, please. Don't cause a scene," Mimi begged.

"Oh, now I get it!" Roger continued, feigning deafness. "Here I was thinking you left the heat on for us because you were actually trying to be nice. But you really weren't there to turn it off."

"Don't try and question my motives again, Roger, please," Benny frowned. "I just want to enjoy my vacation."

"Oh, well don't let us stop you. We wouldn't want to bother you from your duties as Muffy's little lapdog."

"For the last time, don't call her that!" At that moment, a loud squeal was heard. Seconds later, Wenceslas scampered into the room, his harness trailing behind him. He was pursued by the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Mark and Emily saw Allison walking the day they had arrived.

"Someone stop that stupid mutt!" Emily appeared, chasing after the animals with Allison at her side. Roger made a dive for the dog as he ran by, but the little dog squirmed out of his grasp. Within seconds, Wenceslas was cornered against the cabinets in the salon where the spaniel began to attack the little pig. Emily crossed the room in an instant, shoving the dog aside roughly with her foot before scooping the pig up into her arms, protecting him from the attacking dog.

"How dare you kick my dog?" Allison shrieked, picking up the dog, glaring daggers at Emily.

"I wouldn't have had to kick him if you kept him under control!" Emily fired back. "If you can't keep your dog from hurting someone else's pet, you can't expect others to take it lying down!"

"Don't be ridiculous! Why would Gatsby bother touching your dirty…?"

"Oh, and what did that to Wenceslas!" Emily furiously pointed to the pig's snout and ear, which were bleeding. By now, Collins, Maureen, Joanne and Nana had appeared and joined Benny, Mark, Roger and Mimi in watching the fight.

"Who cares about a filthy little pig, anyway?" Allison snapped.

"This pig is probably ten times smarter then your little mutt."

"He is not a mutt! It just so happens that he has pedigrees that go way back to his grandparents."

"Allison," Benny stepped forward to try to calm his wife. "Please. Just try to calm down."

"Calm down? You expect me to let that little wench speak to me that way?"

"Forget it!" Emily shouted, turning to run out of the salon. "I don't have to defend myself to someone like you!"

"Emily," Mark groaned before going after her. Benny sighed, and after sending an apologetic look to the others, escorted Allison, who was now fawning over Gatsby, out of the salon as well. As Benny led Allison away, Maureen and Roger shared a glance. Their expressions stated clearly 'truce'.

* * *

A short time later, Mark, finding the door unlocked, walked into Emily's room to find the photographer on the bed, applying pressure to Wenceslas' ear to stop the bleeding.

"Is he okay?" Mark asked, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to his friend and her pet.

"Thankfully, it's only a few scratches," Emily replied without looking up from her task. "I tell you, if my father was still alive, I'd be thanking him for choosing not to raise me in the rich upbringing he was born into. If _that's_ how I'd have turned out....." Mark remained quiet for a moment.

"Here," Mark said eventually, placing a bandage on Wenceslas' snout.

"Thanks for your help," Emily nodded, now applying ointment to Wenceslas' ear, which had stopped bleeding. Once again, the two sat in silence, until it was broken by Mark.

"Emily, about what you said earlier? About guys going for what you haven't got? You were wrong when you said I wouldn't understand. Don't forget I grew up with Roger. Even back in high school, he was the one all the girls went for. The only time a girl would talk to me was when they wanted me to introduce them to Roger or things like that. So you see, I _do _know how you feel. And, for what it's worth, I think that… any guy who'd just pass you off as just another girl...it's his loss. Not many people in this day and age would have the compassion to work in the Center. Or help some stranger who crashed his bike on the street." Emily smiled slightly, recalling their first meeting.

"Keep that talent of always knowing the right things to say, Mark, and I guarantee that any girl who'd bother to listen would see that you _do_ have something to offer them."

* * *

That night, around midnight, Allison was asleep in her bed while Benny was having a late-night meeting with Mr. Grey. As she slept, the door slowly opened and Roger and Maureen poked their heads into the room.

"Lucky for us, Emily showed me how to pick locks after that incident with the handcuffs back when we first met her," Maureen grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Roger waved impatiently. "Just keep your voice down, or she'll wake up. You have the stuff, right?"

"Right here," Maureen held up a paper grocery bag.

"Great. Well, let's get started."

* * *

Allison woke up suddenly to Benny's startled cry. The moment she opened her eyes, she let out a horrified shriek. The entire room was completely tented with toilet paper, and water-filled paper cups covered every inch of the floor. In the corner, Gatsby was shaking on a chair. His entire fur coat, from the neck down, had been completely shaved off, with a small muzzle secured around his mouth to keep him from barking. Allison stumbled from the bed, paying no attention to the numerous cups she was knocking over, and made a beeline for the closet for her bathrobe. The second she opened the closet door, she was overcome with an avalanche of brightly colored balloons. Allison continued to scream in aggravation, which brought everyone in the hall out of their rooms to see what was going on. Among the onlookers were Nana and the Bohemians.

"What on earth?" Joanne stared as a hysterical Allison stormed into view, with Benny trying to calm her down in vain. Seeing this, Roger and Maureen both tried, rather poorly, to fight back laughs.

"I _know _you had nothing to do with that," Mimi cast them a mock-angry glare, spotting this.

"Well, you didn't expect us to let her get away with chewing out Emily like that, especially when she didn't even do anything," Maureen reasoned.

"Oh, great. What did you do?" Mark moaned.

"Well, in any event," Collins shrugged. "I think it's safe to assume we've overstayed our welcome." With that, the group quickly returned to their rooms to prepare to leave on the double.

* * *

**AN:** I admit- I was laughing to myself while writing about that last big prank. Hoping it had the same effect on you.  
Also, a little bit of trivia: can anyone guess the significance of Wenceslas' name? Honorable mention, and virtual pie in any flavor you wish, to anyone who can guess correctly.  
Hint: The fact that he belongs to a Bohemian is important.


	7. And After

A few weeks had passed since the Bohemians returned to the city. To their relief, Benny never showed up to reprehend them in any way for what Roger and Maureen had done. However, they had found a small bottle of first aid spray specially formulated for pot bellied pigs outside Emily's door the day after they got back, along with a note that read '_For Wenceslas_'. But nothing else was ever mentioned.

"Well, it's ready," Mark announced, hovering over his projector, which held the footage he'd prepared from their vacation in Texas. Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Roger and Mimi were sitting around the couch, waiting for the unveiling.

"Where's Emily?" Collins looked around, seeing no sign of the photographer.

"She said she was picking up Penny from the school. She's getting back from winter camp today," Joanne explained. "Emily said she'd be back in time for the showing." As if on cue, the door slid open, and Emily and Penny stepped in.

"Hold up!" Maureen's jaw dropped. "Emily! Why is your hair frizzy again?" Emily grinned, combing her fingers through her hair, which has back to its usual frizzy appearance.

"Oh, I decided it was too much hassle to keep putting that stuff in everyday. I'm a photographer, not a cover girl, after all. Besides, why should the condition of my hair matter? A very good friend of mine told me…. any guy who'd just pass me off as just another girl...it's his loss." Mark looked up to see Emily was smiling at him, and quickly found himself smiling back.

"Yo, Mark!" Roger threw a pillow at Mark's head. "Are you going to show the fu… sorry Emily." Roger stopped in mid swear, seeing the death glare Emily was sending him, her hands poised to cover Penny's ears. "I mean, are you going to show your footage, or continue making eyes at Emily."

"I was not making eyes!" Mark cried. "Emily and I are just friends!"

"Yeah, what he said," Emily agreed, equally adamant.

"Enough arguing, guys," Mimi chuckled. "Let's just watch Mark's footage." Willing for the discussion to end, Mark started up the projector, and the friends sat back to watch the images projected up on the wall. Among the images was Collins and Nana proudly displaying the money they had won after beating the card shark at Texas Hold'em, Maureen and Joanne getting massages, with Joanne silently telling Mark to take the camera elsewhere, and Roger and Mimi in the Bamboo Room, making out in the pool. Finally, the projector showed images of the sun setting over the lake, and Emily taking pictures of the scenery. As the film came to a close, Emily's projection turned to face the camera, and with a smile, got up and moved out of sight. Seconds later, the picture shook a little, as if there was a slight struggle for the camera, and then changed position to show Mark in front of a patch of trees, meaning Emily was now holding Mark's Bolex. Mark nervously grinned and waved.

"Wait, what's that?" Penny pointed at something behind the image of Mark. The Bohemians looked closely at where Penny was pointing. On close examination, they saw what looked like a strange reptilian creature hidden in the vegetation, its eyes faintly glowing red.

"No," Emily blinked, stunned. "It… it couldn't… could it?" She and Mark looked at each other in shock.

"The… chupacabra?"

* * *

**AN: **My apologies for the ending being so abrupt. But that's how I wanted to end it: with people guessing. Was the chupacabra really there?  
Next up: Apocalyptic Future. It's a Roger-centric epic Sci-Fi/Drama story that I'm having a lot of fun with. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I will. There's gonna be a lot of surprise twists in that story. Until then, this is Data Girl 3, signing off...


	8. Author's Note

Thanks to everyone who made their guesses for Wenceslas' name: Tina101, maureen is me, AlyssaLLBlack13, and CelticGirl8705.

Wenceslas is the man mentioned in the Christmas carol, Good King Wenceslas. But not many people might realise that the song actually is about a true historical figure, Wenceslas I, who was the Duke of Bohemia from 921 to 935. During his career, he promoted the spread of Christianity throughout Bohemia. but in 935 or 929 (There's some controversy over this) he was murdered by Boleslaus, his younger brother, who was a Pagan who desired his brother's throne. Wenceslas was canonised as a saint due to his martyr's death, as well as several purported miracles that occurred after his death. Wenceslaus is the patron saint of the Czech Republic, Prague, and Bohemia.

Great job to everyone. As promised, you can choose a Pie from the following list. I hope I didn't leave any out.

Flavors to choose from:

Mince Pie

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

Coconut Creme Pie

Fudgy Pecan Pie

Pecan Pie

Apple Pie

Apple Crunch Pie

Apple Strawberry Pie

Apple Strawberry Crunch

Blackberry Peach Pie

Blackberry Peach Crunch

Maple Walnut Pie

Key Lime Pie

Spicy Apple Pie

Spicy Apple Crunch

Spicy Walnut Raisin Pie

Strawberry Peach Pie

Strawberry Peach Crunch

Lemon Meringue Pie

Mud Pie

Peach Pie

Peach Crunch Pie

Peanut Butter Cup Pie

Raspberry Rhubarb Pie

Raspberry Rhubarb Crunch

Turtle Pie

Blueberry Pie

Blueberry Crunch Pie

Plueberry Peach Pie

Blueberry Peach Crunch

Cherry Pie

Cherry Crunch Pie

Cherry Berry Pie

Cherry Berry Crunch

Blackberry Pie

Cookie Pie

Great Lakes Fruit Pie

Coconut Cloud Pie

Chocolate Coconut Pie

CranApple Walnut Pie

Bumbleberry Pie

Bumbleberry Crunch

Fudge Brownie Pie

Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

Strawberry Rhubarb Crunch

Rhubarb Pie

Rhubarb Crunch

Bluebarb Pie

Pumpkin Pie

(I never knew there weres so many flavors of pie)


End file.
